Great Ambiguities

From conversations I've had over the years, it's evident that most people who live on this island imagine that the 'Great' in 'Great Britain' is a reference to this country's grand history.

They're wrong of course... this island is 'Great' Britain solely because it's the largest of the islands that makes up the British Isles. Proper humility can be achieved by reminding ourselves that the Germans refer to our country as Grossbritannien... 'gross' makes it a good deal harder to fall into the self-aggrandisement trap.

All of this came to mind yesterday when I witnessed two contrasting versions of a statement put out by the Arsenal footballer Cesc Fabregas. The young Spaniard is currently the subject of a tug of war between his current club and Barcelona with most experts persuaded that he'll opt to move back to his home country this summer.

But after Fabregas described a recent conversation with Arsenal's manager as the "greatest phone call" of his life, many fans of the North London club might dare to dream that the midfielder has had a change of heart.

They shouldn't get their hopes up. It appears that by 'greatest', Fabregas merely meant 'longest'... an adjective which suggests their conversation had a quite different tenor from the one implied by 'great'. And it should be remembered that a conversation of great length with someone you're about to jilt doesn't often bring about a change of heart.

This didn't stop BBC's 5 Live from reporting that Fabregas had described the conversation as the 'best' he'd ever had. Arsenal fans buoyed by this news should feel disappointed that the broadcaster opted to ignore a linguistic nuance that makes a great difference... or should that be 'a gross difference'?